How Being a Resident Assistant Prepared Me for Life

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Fornicating in the community kitchen? Shooting up coke! Dealing with pregnancy hormones from the girl down the hall! Fornicating in the laundry room too?! Throwing a party in a no-alcohol dorm? Again!?

College life can be crazy! It’s even crazier when you’re the resident assistant in charge of 50+ other people. That was my life for two years of college, and it was quite the experience! Thanks to my resident assistant gig, I was able to save a little money during college. I got my dorm room (all to myself!) for free, and they threw in a free meal plan. Free cable and some spare money (which basically covered the cost of laundry) was also part of the deal.

Looking back, being a resident assistant prepared me for life in ways I never could have imagined. Those statements in the first paragraph? All true. Every.last.one.of.them.

Here are some of the life lessons I learned as a resident assistant for two years.

1. People do stupid things. Learn to deal with that.

Fornicating in the laundry room? Yep! Not really the smartest thing ever. After all, they each had a dorm room. Maybe they were being considerate and not waking up their roommates… Sigh. Moving on!

2. Even if you’re the one in charge, you can only do so much.

There were students who would show up to the first day of class and I wouldn’t see them again until they moved out at the end of the semester because they had been expelled. I did everything I could to try to help them – e-mailed, called, sat outside classes waiting for them, and talked to their roommates and/or boyfriend. You can only do so much to help people. They have to do the rest on their own.

3. Sometimes people have to pay. Make them clean what they messed up.

“You did what in the community kitchen? And now you’re bragging to me about it when I’m the one in charge? You think it’s funny that other people eat there? Not! Didn’t we already chat about how this behavior is not ok after you were caught in the laundry room? Well, we’ll see what you think of being woke up at 5 am to clean the kitchen!”

The above paragraph is pretty much the inner dialogue I had with myself as a resident told me she and her boyfriend had had sex in the community kitchen of our dorm. Eww!! As soon as she left my dorm room, I called my resident director. She agreed that having the girl clean the kitchen would be an appropriate punishment since chatting with her about having sex in the laundry room obviously hadn’t worked.

At 5 am the next day, I was pounding on her dorm room to have her clean up the mess. She was not impressed, but there were no more fornicating problems in our dorm that year!

4. Sometimes you can’t make people pay. Deal with it and move on.

Unfortunately we occasionally had property damage in the dorms. Typically it was nothing major – someone writing graffiti on the bathroom walls. As annoying as it was, we would have a hall meeting (if needed) and move on. There’s only so many meetings you can have before you realize you’re not being heard and that no one cares. Let it go.

5. Don’t micromanage people.

College is a time to spread your wings and see what you’re made of. No matter how helpful you may think you are being, people don’t want to be micromanaged. The end.

6. Sometimes you have to call in backup.

I would guess that 99% of the time, there is someone with more experience than you. Ask them for help!

There was once a resident who came to me with tread marks on her arms. I’ll be the first to admit that I was naive and had no idea what they were, so I simply told her to go to the doctor. She laughed in my face! (Which now makes total sense!) Thankfully I knew about our drug and alcohol counselor on campus (a recovering addict himself), so I literally went with her to meet him. I knew this was way over my head, so I called in the expert to help us out.

7. Let things go.

No matter how nice you are to people, some of them are just plain mean. Try not to take it personally. It reflects more on them as a person than it does on you.

8. Learn to take a joke.

There were many gags and bad jokes that were played in the dorms. The one that originally grossed me out the most was the guy who was putting “used” condoms on the door handles of girls he didn’t like. Turns out it was just lotion in those condoms, but it was gross none-the-less. He eventually came clean and apologized. It was definitely done in bad taste, but he meant no malice by it. Sometimes you just have to take a joke (good or bad) and roll with it.

9. Everyone is dealing with something.

Everybody out there has something going on in their life – good, bag, or ugly. It’s not always about us! The resident mentioned in the first paragraph who was pregnant? She had a LOT on her plate! Going to class, preparing for a baby, and planning a wedding were a lot for a college sophomore to handle. We all need to remember a little kindness and show compassion for others.If you have the opportunity to become a resident assistant at your college, I can’t recommend it enough! Was it tough for me? Yes! But it was an extremely eye-opening event that taught me more life lessons than I could have ever imagined. So go ahead, apply, and see where the journey takes you!

What lessons did you learn in college? I’d love it if you’d share them in the comments!

This post is linked up with Your Modern Family